Expectations, Procrastination, Disappointments and Depression : What to do ?

Greetings Readers

Finally my 1st semester exams at college have finished and now I am quite free to dedicate some of my time to the blog and helping you all out with your problems.

March is here and it's a decisive month for many. 

• Those in Class 12, and aiming for NEET/AIIMS 2017 are busy preparing for the Board exams as well as trying to cover their NEET syllabus simultaneously. Covering up big courses in short time is definitely taxing on their minds, so stress and nervousness is natural to occur.
• Students of Class 11 have finished one year of their NEET/AIIMS preparation and they are also giving Class 11 Final exams(although these hardly matter a dime, still they have to pass it anyways) and most of them must be in a state of confusion or uncertainty regarding the status and level of their preparation and what to do in Class 12 as only one year is left before they face NEET/AIIMS themselves.
• Also, not to forget those in Class 10, are also giving their exams and are simultaneously faced with the weight of one of the biggest decision of their lives - Choosing a stream, leaving other subjects behind, forever.

You now why I have put in bold the words 'stress', 'confusion' and other similar words?

The answer is that you all are facing some of these issues at some point or the other in this phase of life. You are now no longer studying all subjects and just going to the next standard. Stuff has changed, as you have chosen a stream to aim for your career, of which you should be passionate about(Can't say everyone is passionate about as many take up a stream for other reasons too).

To tell the truth, expectations have surrounded you. People expect you to study hard and ace every exam. They expect you to get in good college, study hard again and later on get a good job. For doctors, people expect that they start earning(maybe even get a 'Sarkari naukri') after doing their Residency/Post Graduation, marry and settle in life, earning,working,earning,working and that goes on. Escalated pretty fast,no? 

Actually that's not the way life works and be thankful it doesn't work that way. Each one of us, being humans, has got his/her talent, excels in those areas and so do we have have our weaknesses, our cons and areas we feel difficult to toil through. This is the most beautiful thing life has given to us. None of us is perfect, but life has given us the power to chase excellence, improve our skills, learn from mistakes. Tell me has anyone learnt riding a bicycle without falling? "Girte ho to tabhi to sikhte ho, ki agali baar aise nahi chalana hai, sambhal ke chalna hai"

This reminds of a famous dialogue from "Batman Begins"( Any guesses, Batman fans?)

This is what your spirit should be while studying or doing anything in life like chasing your passions or goals.

You go to your school, you go to your coaching classes, attend the class, listen, make notes and study them going back home. You feel you have doubts, you ask them. Sometimes the teacher isn't able to convince you and you are still left with residual doubts and stuff not understood well. Over time, if you don't focus on these shortcomings then these get accumulated, they can become a hindrance to learning future topics. Sometimes the backlog becomes so much that you can either focus on the new topic, leaving the old one unresolved or vice-versa. Either of the case, you are losing something out. As such the speed of the course is so fast, with the vast syllabus and the highly uncertain pattern of these exams having objective questions,a feeling of stress or fear originates. Already the expectations are behind you and to add to it stress and fear have joined too. 

This combined situation of expectations, study load, stress and fear makes the mind's of many students completely tired out. Many students start to feel bored out and start procrastinating. They begin to think that they will study tomorrow, today they will enjoy. Such is the vicious cycle that tomorrow never comes. Again the same backlog, expectations, stress fear and this thing goes on. Then a phase of depression ensues. Students start thinking what will happen if they don't get selected, what will they do if they can't become a doctor, did they waste their parent's money and even the most bad - suicidal thoughts.

I am not saying this thing out of anywhere, but this is what I have heard from many friends and other students whom I have interacted with on Quora and the blog.

Each student is trying to give their best, I don't doubt their efforts, but somewhere they are going wrong with what is the 'essence' or the 'motive' or the 'aim' of their preparation. Many students say,"I am scoring so and so in this test series, what will be my rank in NEET?". Some people comment on these topics and say so and so marks will get you to this and this rank. Then if some student falls short of "those so and so marks", he/she gets depressed and asks questions like,"What do if I am getting lower than "those" marks in test series?"

Having been through all this experiences, having given "those test series" myself, having got depressed over "those marks of these test series" and most important, "having got a good enough rank in both NEET and AIIMS", I can say that these scores don't matter. I have quoted the same thing in detail, with appropriate reasons in one of my Quora answers at Should I care about AIATS scores? 

Swami Vivekananda used to say that you, the individual, the youth are a thing have infinite power. If you make a resolve to work, not thinking if you succeed or not, you are capable of winning even if the whole universe is against you. Such is the power you, the human being,possess. 

I am not saying that feeling sad, getting stressed out or feeling depressed is anything 'abnormal' or 'bad' to be hidden behind a fake sense of being normal. With our lives becoming more stressful each day, these are prone to occur and it's in our best interests that we accept them. But, this doesn't mean that these are permanent. Their is always something that can be done. Even I have faced stress and depression , have struggled to learn things and get stuff sorted out as you must have read in my blog posts and Quora answers. I am no superior, you are no inferior. Even those toppers you must be having in class are no superior and sure of success in life. They just are better than you at one skill, which even you can master with a strong resolve and hard work. My father,himself a doctor, used to tell me in my preparation days, that there are doctors who topped in their medical colleges throughout but still aren't able to get the style of treating patients correctly, thus people don't go to them for treatment. Will you call this success? 

My main message to you all(those in Class 12,11, 10 or even droppers) is that first of all leave all expectations behind. Expectations set a 'bar' or a 'limit' to how much you can succeed, whereas those who have actually succeeded in doing something in life, never expected it to happen, neither did their success had any limits. 

The lives of Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Steve Jobs, Jack Ma(Alibaba.com founder) , Elon Musk(Tesla and SpaceX founder), our own honourable Prime Minister Narendra Modi, Mahendra Singh Dhoni( MS Dhoni : The Untold Story to dekhi hogi), Yuvraj Singh(cancer survivor), Lance Armstrong(cyclist,cancer survivor), JK Rowling(Harry Potter Author) and many more people tell that no matter how things went bad at some point in their lives, what drove them to success was that they refused to give up. They refused to bend down against the odds they faced in life, no matter how much other people bashed them. They knew their potential and had a strong resolve to succeed. No matter if they succeed today or not, but they knew their talent, their hard work, their patience, their faith will someday pay them back.

For those giving the exam this year, I can say that you have studied continuously for the past two-three years. You have solved the most trivial questions. You have sacrificed lot of stuff to achieve your goal. You continue to put efforts so that you can see a smile on your parents face, when you succeed. Then why continue to fear, stress out, or get depressed? Just remember one line,"This too shall pass". Whatever you are going through will pass one day, time won't stop. So rev up your efforts and give the best that you can give, not thinking of what would happen or what people expect from you. Just set the date of the exam in your mind and don't think what will happen after that. Just focus on improving yourself each day. Focus on becoming better each day, rather than being the best on one day and bad on the other day. Only thing in your mind should be how to give your best and get the best output possible on the day of the final exam. Don't think what college you will get. If you score good, you will have the power to chose what you want, anyways.

For those in Class 11, I suggest you all to be optimistic. One year is still left between you and the main exam, and as such the lighter Class 12 syllabus allows you to revise simultaneously the Class 11 part, reinforcing your concepts. To be honest, I myself have completely understood and finished 60% of the Class 11 topics in Class 12, not in Class 11 itself, be it Biology, Chemistry or Physics. Forget what happened in the past, whatever it was and start at this very moment. There is always room for improvement.

Now for those in Class 10, I can say that chose whatever you want, but only if you have some though, some resolve and some passion to pursue whatever goals you want to achieve in that stream. Meet people working in those fields, be it Doctors, Engineers,Lawyers, MBAs, Business people, Sports persons, Journalists,Artists or anyone else. Know about the field you are going to join and don't just take it because your friends are taking it or your parents are forcing you to do so.

This surely has been my longest post on the blog, but I still feel being short of words to describe the problems we students face in life and what to do to sort them out. 

My aim now on the blog is not just helping you with the academic stuff of the preparation, but also helping you 'prepare' for the problems that life will pose you during the preparation. Even if I can help one of you succeed,leaving depression and fear behind, my happiness and satisfaction would be no bounds.

With this I wish you all the best for whatever you do in the upcoming time.

Till next time

Bye!